Happytown Applesauce

The 2007 Xbox 360 video game Conan is, to put it bluntly, not very good. In fact, a much better use of your time would be to watch ICECOLDSNAKE 's excellent retrospective review of it instead of playing it. So why, then, am I compelled to write about it? Because despite its many flaws, Conan embodies a specific, John Milius-esque approach to its world that deserves to be both celebrated and used . It's going to serve as a fascinating case study: a game that should, by all accounts, appeal to my personal sensibilities - the unapologetic "Milius" vibe - yet ultimately falls flat as a brown, boring mess of repetitive mechanics. In a world where review scores are becoming increasingly untethered from a game's actual quality, Conan offers a vital load test of my review structure . We've all seen it: a review that gives a game a perfect 10/10, only to spend the next thousand words detailing its shortcoming s. Dragon Age: The Veilguard is a recent example where a g...

[REVIEW] RoboCop: Rogue City

There are millions of words written about video games every day, but one of the best things you can say about a game is simply, "I wanted to start it up again after finishing it." RoboCop: Rogue City is that kind of game for me. Here's my review, based on my personal 10-category, 10-point scoring system. I'll add up the points at the end for a final score. Let's dive in! STORY: 7/10 Crafting a compelling narrative from an established IP like RoboCop is no easy feat. As someone turning 50 this year, I'm probably predisposed to enjoy anything RoboCop-related, but even so, the story here feels solidly above average. You've got a good mix of street-level gangs, multiple villains, a looming Big Bad, and, of course, the ever-present evil corporation. It truly captures that quintessential 80s vibe, which is a fantastic foundation, but the game eventually develops its own identity, standing on its own narrative merits. OBJECTIVES: 9/10 The objectives are neat and ...

Battlefield 1 [REVIEW]

With Battlefield 6 on the horizon, it's a great time to revisit Battlefield 1, a game fondly remembered and approached with fresh eyes after a nine-year hiatus from the series. This review offers a clean look at the first game in the revised Battlefield series, distinguishing itself from earlier titles in the series. Storytelling and Setting Battlefield 1 truly stands out for its storytelling, with the decision to delve into World War I proving to be an inspired and refreshing choice. The campaign missions collectively offer a strong experience, with two particular chapters shining brightly. Standout Missions 1. Friends in High Places This mission is a highlight, especially for those who appreciate high-flying action. Players step into the shoes of Clyde Blackburn, an unlikely pilot who finds his calling in the skies. The flight mechanics are enjoyable, complemented by the absolutely gorgeous scenery that serves as a dynamic playground. The narrative cleverly builds towards absurd ...

[REVIEW] Captain Blood

A few weeks ago, I stumbled upon a game that, by all accounts, shouldn't exist: "Captain Blood." This title, originally slated for release years ago, finally saw the light of day in May 2025 after a near 25-year development journey. I first heard about it on YouTube, where most people quickly dismissed it as a relic, a simple hack-and-slash game from the PS3 era. But the story behind its belated release captivated me. Intrigued, I decided to dive in, shelling out $20 to download it. I spent about a week (which for me translates to roughly 5-15 hours) exploring its world. And honestly? The game is great. While you could technically label it a "hack and slash," I think that description misses the mark. "Captain Blood" has a surprising amount of heart and feels more like an early entry adventure game, reminiscent of the genre that dominated console exclusives for a decade. It offers quick, fast-paced, and genuinely fun action within an unexpectedly beauti...

A Short Message to Bethesda and Microsoft

I'm writing to express my profound disappointment and concern about a recent social media post from Bethesda. A clip from the new Indiana Jones game, which I recently purchased, was used in a post that appeared to approve of violence and death related to a recent assassination. I've been a longtime fan and customer of both Bethesda and Microsoft (I'm 49, so for over 30 years), with a 15-year Xbox Live subscription and a gamerscore of 36,404. While I've played games on dozens of other consoles and computers, I've always come "home" to Xbox. However, I'm finding it increasingly difficult to support companies whose employees and public-facing content seem to celebrate death rather than condemn it. While I understand that artists often hold different values and that culture shifts over time, the apparent approval of this act is deeply troubling. It's a line that, for me, has been crossed. As a result, I will no longer be purchasing future Bethesda game...

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